Spent Force

Dave Bradford fidgeted outside Nick Knowles’ door. Linda Graham wanted the job too and had her interview yesterday. 

Dave’s mind began to circle around his situation…

I know Linda told her friends that I was a “spent force”. Who knows what other sucker punches she landed behind closed doors?

If that’s the kind of Team Lead they want, then maybe I’m lucky to find out early. I could just pull my name now and walk away from the mud fight. 

Or I could give in to my inner demon who can talk tit-for-tat behind closed doors. It wants me to mention the time I saw her emerald green thong crumpled up on the carpet under her workstation. “What’s up with that?”, I’d ask. 

Maybe even having someone like her on the way up means this company is not the place for me. Maybe instead of bucking for a promotion I should be all over LinkedIn waving my little flag of competence and my little pennant of integrity. 

What can I showcase when I walk through that door? I know I’ve stopped about six big mistakes. I probably saved us a few million bucks and kept two or three good customers from leaving. But there’s the old bugaboo about “How do you prove a negative?”  How do we know they stayed because of what we didn’t do? Besides, that’s defense, and everybody knows the offense gets all the glory. Where’s my offense? What’s my Affirmative Pitch?

If I’m honest with myself, I’d say I’ve had eight significant ideas in the last fiscal year. Two I can point to as successes, though not home runs. Four died early deaths because the very guy I’m trying to convince has Stubborn-Lack-of-Vision Syndrome. One I never explained well enough to convince anybody to back. One was an innocent victim of the chaos when the Comptroller got indicted and all forward motion just stopped for a quarter. So, is that enough for me to beat Ms. Future of the Firm?

Maybe that’s what she meant by “spent force.” And maybe she’s just perfect for the job.

Nick’s door swung open.

“Dave. Sorry for the wait. Corporate has its hair on fire again. Come in.”

Dave sat and took a deep breath. He reminded himself to make eye contact. He saw Nick picking up a pad and pen. 

“Dave, I’ve got three questions that I’m asking all the candidates for Team Lead. Why do you want the job? Why do you think you’d be good at it? Finally, who would you like on your team if you got the job?”

Dave had been in the game long enough to know that flattery was the best form of stalling. “Those are exactly the right questions, Nick. Why do I want the job? Well, I like working with you. You’re a straight shooter, you’re plugged into leadership, and you’ve listened to my ideas. I’d have more access as Team Lead.”

Nick nodded. “And the pay bump?”

“Goes without saying. But also, coding is satisfying, but I’d like a bigger voice in product development. I’m ready to drive the bus, not just ride in it.”

“OK. Next: Why do you think you’d be a good Team Lead?”

“Because I’d copy your style, Nick. I’d understand who’d be best for each role in the project, keep everybody informed, listen to the troops, ask questions. Although, let’s face it, most of the team don’t talk much to real people, so I’d have to push a little to find out what they’re thinking. And if they’re not thinking right, I’d find a way to make them see the Big Picture. Besides, I’m getting a little stale; I’m up for a challenge.”

“Right, good, ok. Last question: What’s your Dream Team? Who would you like to manage?”

Dave sensed a trap. Is Thong Girl a right or wrong answer? Dave knew that the second-best way to stall was to answer a question with a question. “Can I pick anybody no matter where they are now?”

“Sure. Go ahead — cherry pick your Dream Team.”

“Ok then. No question: Espen, Harry, Kate, and Nelson from my current team. Ryan and Mary Lynn from the Spyglass Project. Oh, and I’d steal Susie Smart from the Hydra Project.”  

“Interesting. I can see it. All forward leaning, hard charging, young gun types. Umm, not that youth has anything to do with it, per se… I noticed you did not include Linda Graham.”

Moment of truth. Thong story? Obfuscation by praise? They go low, we go high. “I think Linda would be more valuable as the lead on her own Team.”

“Interesting. Thank you, Dave. Any questions?”

“When will I hear?”

“I’ll be moving pretty quickly on this, so you won’t have to wait long.”

And the wait was indeed not long. Two days later, Linda Graham grinned as she told Dave he’d soon hear the news that she had been promoted to Team Lead. She grinned wider as she thanked him for endorsing her for the position. She positively smirked when she added that she was taking Espen, Harry, Kate and Nelson from Dave’s team to join her new Dream Team along with the three other rising stars Nick had named. 

Two days later, Nick emailed that he’d selected Linda Graham as the new Team Lead but was sure there would be other openings “fairly soon”.

The next day, Dave’s cubicle was empty.

Three days after that, Hans Levin, a Vice President and Nick’s boss at headquarters, notified the entire division that Nick Knowles and Linda Graham were no longer with the company. The coffee-room consensus was that they must have taken their widely-noticed relationship a bit too far. 

The email urged interested parties to consider applying for open positions as Group Lead and Team Lead. 

Because IT was slow to reset Dave’s computer, the email sat unread for weeks, mute testimony to a fumbling attempt to both play the game and do the right thing.