Q4 Memo

Anna Remennik

All holiday team builders will be self-funded this year.
The company spent all the money, the cupboards are bare.
You may think we have billions in assets, and yet — au contraire!
So all holiday team builders will be self funded this year.

The annual bonus is tracking exactly to trend,
Whatever naysayers in comments would like to pretend.
If you square the last three and take a cube root at the end,
You will see that the bonus is tracking exactly to trend.

We are all one big family, together we flourish and rise!
But a little TOO big, it turned out – so we must right-size.
This is breaking our hearts (we are sure you can empathize)
As we exit some team members till we are back to right-size.

The austerity measures are working — keep doing your share!
We all must pitch in for the company’s needs, fair is fair.
Our talent’s our critical asset, so know that we care! —
But all of your holidays will be self-funded this year.

Anna Remennik is a chemical engineer working in Silicon Valley, and enjoys writing poems about automatic titrators, technical supply chain processes, and occasionally even more fantastical things. Her poetry has appeared in New Myths.com and Heroic Fantasy Quarterly. She can be found online at annaremennik.wordpress.com