Dress for Success

Brad Rose

  The focus group said I look like an avalanche rushing toward a volcanic eruption. Honestly, I had no idea my clothes were see-through. When I finally get my bail money together, I’m going to declassify the incriminating documents. After all, nobody likes a robot that looks too human. Like any warm-blooded reveler, I’m merely trying to put the fun back in funhouse. Of course, there’s always a risk of serious side effects, but why waste precious time standing around waiting for an electrocution, especially when you can have a perfectly barbarous long weekend? Clarise, my 49 and ½ -foot-tall girlfriend, says she doesn’t know if I made the team or not, but I should still be a big fan of myself. So, as soon as I put a downpayment on my starter mansion and get the anti-gravity water features spritzed into shape, I’m going to dismantle any unforeseen circumstances. As you know, these can be notoriously damning, particularly at this time of year, when the air is so sharp, so invigorating, it’s almost impossible to distinguish the dead from the living. That’s why, come rain or shine, I try my darndest to dress for success. You never know when the executions are about to commence.

Brad Rose was born and raised in Los Angeles, and lives in Boston. He has worked in wide-range of occupations, including railway worker, emergency room clerk, instructional designer, organizational consultant, and for the last 30 years, as a program evaluator in the education and non-profit sectors. Brad earned a Ph.D. in sociology (sociology of work and organizations) and is the author of five collections of poetry and flash fiction: Lucky Animals, No. Wait. I Can Explain,  Pink X-Ray, de/tonations, and Momentary Turbulence. His poetry collection WordInEdgeWise, is forthcoming. Eight times nominated for a Pushcart Prize, and three times nominated for the Best of the Net Anthology, Brad’s poetry and fiction have appeared in, The American Journal of Poetry, The Los Angeles Times, Baltimore Review, New York Quarterly, Lunch Ticket, Puerto del Sol, Clockhouse, Folio, Best Microfiction (2019), and other journals and anthologies. www.bradrosepoetry.com