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SUPPLY CHAIN > FICTION

Pharm As the Eye Can See

By Liz Lydic
The final print is gorgeous. It will be excellent in both the desktop and mobile versions of the website. I have to give it to Stryker Advertising; they cost an arm and a leg but we pay them for imagination, something we jokingly say we have none of. That’s how it should be, we say: We’re in Pharmaceuticals; who wants us to be clever? We could never have come up with ‘Optimum Fusion’: even with its beautiful simplicity, it’s just not within our realm. I literally laughed out loud when, in an early whiteboarding session, Cort said “It’s like we’re creating a new age for the new age, isn’t it?” I was glad when Cort was put on my team, because he was genuinely a great leader and influencer for the junior associates, but when it came to him sharing his big ideas, I cringed. We had a lot to do to impress Erik, the new Chief Marketing Officer. It had been talked about for so long: Apt Health finally becoming hip and more relevant, but hiring a CMO was the first palatable and tangible evidence coming from the top. I was thrilled for this chance to not only work with Erik but to share some of the concepts I’d been thinking about for years. By the time he arrived, I’d had my resume out at several other big companies in a fit of frustration for the slow progress Apt Health was making in keeping up with the times.  It was Greta, though, that turned out to be the biggest, most important part of my professional and personal success on the Fusion campaign. For years, I’d sensed the competition between us in the Strategy Division, both young career women climbing up that ol’ corporate ladder. Her experience working internationally meant a huge leg up not only in global marketing initiatives, but also because some of her projects had been exactly what we were tasked with at Apt Health: innovating archaic products and practices for a new generation (in so many words). She was fearless because she’d been there, done that. I expected a battle when we partnered on the operations of the digital portion of the campaign, but instead, she and I gelled. We riffed and inspired and made some of the biggest contributions to the final AuxRise blueprint. I honestly don’t remember exactly which of us had had the light bulb moment in a session where we veered off our direct assignment, spit-balling every idea that came to us, but it was from us that the entire concept of introducing CBD-based products in the Pacific Northwest region stores was born. I love that we made it into the final pushout. It was, quite honestly, a brilliant moment of my career.  The top dogs from Stryker rubbed me the wrong way as total mansplainers (“Kim, I’m not sure if you’re familiar with …” was one of their very favorite ways to start a dialogue with me), but they helped us hone in – via research, surveys, boots-on-the-ground data acquisition – on our target audience in this campaign. The next generation of health guardians, for whom self-care is number one on the to-do list. Despite the risk in sounding whiny, it’s pretty likely that it was the willingness of Greta and me to being open and honest about the burden on females in the millennium that jump-started the patronizing of the faux-hawk sweater-vest-wearers. But, who cares? This is honestly one of the bravest strategies I have ever seen at this corporate level from a company that could have easily missed the boat. I’m not going to lie: first, Diadem Pharmacy is seriously behind, and I often thank God that I didn’t take that gig back in 1995; and second, I am slightly aware of the likeness to Bodeva with our overuse of the word ‘Flourishment’ in our campaign, but we are not a healthcare organization, so there’s that.  Our biggest hurdle in launching this campaign is one we should have spent more time with. I can see that now. We were so trigger-and-video-and-catch-phrase happy with our marketing initiative and ideas that we maybe should have worked more closely with Human Resources on how we would onboard pharmacists into one of the biggest, most crucial parts of the approach: elevating their roles as whole health advocates. (I particularly love the part of the press release that states that we are thrilled to take the consumer and pharmacist relationship to the next level of trust.). Should we be worried about the pharmacist labor unions yet? Yeah, kind of. Do we also know that there is a group of hungry, ready-to-endorse-essential-oils millennials chomping at the bit from pharmacy tech school to take on any open position? Hell, yes. And, if there is a concern, maybe I’ll volunteer myself to lead the efforts in training. Maybe it will be me who will oversee the pharmacists in the eighteen states where we have retail stores. And maybe one of those fresh faces could use a little guidance and mentorship from someone like myself: someone who can serve as a personal chaperone into Apt Health’s envisioned future. 

***

The pharmacy employee area of Apt Health Store #01653 in Lebanon, Indiana was actually just the stockroom, with half of one of its walls dedicated to four single lockers, two chairs recycled from old blood pressure machine self-checks, and a wobbly folding table with a microwave. Peter remained neutral at the inconvenience of holding yet another staff meeting in the small space. Every time Apt Health rolled out a new product line, or prior to flu season, or whenever there was a new prescription gimmick they were trying, Peter had to rally the troops and get them up to speed. Often, he himself was not up to speed. When he first started with Apt Health, there were more in-person trainings for managers like him. Regularly, he would travel to headquarters, or a bigwig would come to each branch to offer the information. Cutting corners meant that now Peter was responsible to prime himself, mostly via webinars and DVD recordings, which arrived in the mail in anonymous-looking white envelopes. He then had to pass along the initiatives to his employees, hoping he properly understood what he had watched on screen.  Steve held up the glossy flyer that had been inserted in the left hand side of the folder distributed by Peter. Come On In….To the New Apt Health, it was titled. Then: Introducing the new Apt Health, where our pharmacists are ready to bring customers the optimum fusion of care. Steve continued to read about the projected roles of pharmacists in this multi-store overhaul. He leaned over to Cyndi, his co-worker of the last eleven years.  “I don’t know anything about essential oils,” he whispered, continuing to rifle through the paperwork.  “Apparently, they teach us.” She was just as confused as Steve about what Peter was presenting, but she couldn’t let that on. The big boy will have to work hard for once in life, she thought. I’ll learn the oils first.  Peter began with a brief explanation of how ‘the new Apt Health’ would help keep the company in better (“No, stronger”) competition with Diadem and Jornes. Then he explained that one of the ‘key’ parts of the strategy was to lean on pharmacists, who would be featured more predominantly. Cyndi made a note to ask Steve privately about the word ‘predominantly.’ Peter continued. As more stores implemented the AuxRise initiative, some would add positions called Cosmetics Concierges, some would stock organic skin products aimed at eco-conscious clientele, and others would work toward the companywide mission to become an ‘oasis of self-care.’ Cyndi clicked her tongue in disapproval and Peter briefly stopped talking to look at her with what she thought of as ‘the nonsense eyebrow check.’ Steve raised his hand. “Do I need to learn how to provide massage therapy?” Cyndi looked away, embarrassed by the pitch of his voice. This huge boy, he’s not even paying attention to what’s really being said. He’s just thinking non-real things, things that are not possible. Pay attention! Listen, don’t talk yet! Eleven years of this and Cyndi should have known by now what would set Steve into a tailspin of anxiety and implausible situations. She thought that if Steve were her son, she could whip him into shape. In some ways, he was like her son. She scolded him when he needed to be scolded, when he panicked and acted too young. In turn, he taught her things about the American world that she assumed a son would do, if she’d ever married and raised a family, neither of which were an option in this country or back home in the Philippines, not at her age.  “No, Steve, massage therapy is not included in the AuxRise Evolution strategy. The pharmacist component is focused on -” Peter read from the press release in his manager training packet, “‘taking the consumer and pharmacist relationship to the next level of trust.’ So, massage therapy is not necessarily part of the Apt Health experience of everyday routines.” Steve raised his hand again. “Yes, Steve?” Peter breathed out on the name.  “But, essential oils are also not part of the everyday routine, and it says here that we will offer that. It also says we need to learn how to use iPads and a new app, and I just want to point out that we just got a new P.O.S. system and I don’t know about learning all this new stuff at the same time. Will I have to work overtime?” Cyndi saw the panic in Steve’s eyes as they widened. His feathered blonde hair shook as he spoke quickly. She knew any second now he’d start wiping his nose out of habit. Soon he’ll start to stink from sweat, she thought. One of the worst parts of working with Steve was that he towered over her, and she was always at a physical disadvantage. She thought of Fay Wray and King Kong from an old movie and wondered if Fay caught whiffs of King’s armpits. He continued. “I don’t know anything about cruelty free and non-GMO products! I know our products and where all the things are. I don’t know if I can learn a new set of inventory. Also, I don’t know where we are going to store all these new things.” He was skimming the paper, sausage hands gripping and crinkling the press release, and Cyndi thought about how she’d have to make copies of her packet for when Steve annihilated his past the point of use. “And, ‘whole health,’” Steve continued, “what does that mean?”  He continued to search for terms that he could worry about. Peter continued to try to calm Steve’s nerves but Cyndi knew it was useless. She looked closer at the paper to try to find the exact phrases about training so she could repeat them over and over to Steve like a lullaby, to calm the boy. But her eyes landed on something in the training cover page, like a nugget of gold. ‘Pharmacists are special: they are the brave and knowledgeable links between community members and their best lives. Their faithful place in the wellness system offers them a prime opportunity to make a difference to customers. It’s their time to emerge as ambassadors of health, and we are pleased to unleash their power through the Aux Rise program, as we partner in the company’s Optimum Future, together.’  Cyndi’s stomach dropped and began to dance with jitters. She suddenly saw herself, in one year, standing at the entrance of Apt Health Store #01653, a healer, a superstar; her power totally, completely unleashed. She saw a light shining around her at the pharmacy register. AuxRise was the ultimate opportunity: a chance to finally live the full American dream and become something incredible. She raised her hand to ask Peter when the training would start.

Liz Lydic is a mom, writer, and local government employee in the Los Angeles area. She also does theatre stuff. Lizlydic.com

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